i feel so many things...

Thank you ZARA BABY (& Brittany DiNardo for telling me that this exists) …!!!

After a 10 minute walkthrough in Bayshore, I am now busting at the seams about having a little BOY to dress up. I needed that. 

The only thing I haven't really gotten my head around is that it won't be Winter when the baby comes…but it was a nice reason to not buy everything I saw in the store. 

The question becomes: do they have gift registries?!

And this has opened my mind up to more thoughts on the nursery (which of course lead to a few more pins…). I love a very subtle nautical look, but I'm taking Loraleah's tip and not really declaring this as a theme to avoid sailor-overload. 

I'm not sure if this is a pregnancy symptom or if I'm just going crazy, but lately all of my convictions have been STRONG. 

If I'm craving something, it becomes all I can think about. 

If I hear a new song that I like, I become OBSESSED with it. 

If I watch a touching video, I cry uncontrollably.

Let's hope for my sake that this is pregnancy related (& hope for Ryan's sake that it doesn't last forever because I think my intensity is starting to become annoying.)

week twenty-two

It feels like someone is flicking me from the inside this week, which basically means Christmas came early because this is the thing I've been most excited about all along. 

Finally some real reminders of this little person who's going to be such a huge part of our lives!

And now that we know he's a boy, it's easier to visualize things like the nursery, a baby shower, and even a first birthday party (that's a long way away, I know, but this is where my mind goes). 

Tell me if this is weird…but for the last week I've been on the hunt to find one piece of baby boy clothing that I love more than words, so that I can channel all of my thoughts towards being excited to dress him up. So far no luck, although Mexx Kids and Baby Gap were the closest I came. Joe Fresh was quite disappointing until about size 3 or 4 in the boys section.

I may have to get creative.

I also need to figure out a way to convince Brittany to come over again to do another coat of the grey paint in the nursery (maybe some sushi or some baked goods…).

As for a pregnancy update, here's what's going on:

• Flipping over in bed at night is getting to be a whole procedure.
• I bought my first bit of maternity clothes, starting with two pairs of leggings and one pair of jeans.
• I feel the baby kicking just a little bit (similar to a flick as I mentioned before) and it usually happens at night while we retire to the living room and watch Breaking Bad.
• I'm crying less these days which is apparently normal and I'm sure Ry is happy.
• My appetite is super low, but now that we know it's a boy Ry has been on my case extra hard about eating protein. He makes me omelettes and I eat them.
• I've been spending a lot of time at Loraleah's place trying to get Luca's newborn photos taken but he's just too good of a baby and wants to be awake all the time! However, the photos that I've taken so far make me crazy excited to take photos of my own little guy. 
• Sleeping almost all of the time, same old. 
• Oh yeah, and the baby is as big as a cantaloupe.

it's a boy!

Is it weird that I feel like I prepared for this party about as much as I prepared for our wedding day?

Probably. 

But I couldn't stop thinking that this was our baby's first party and I needed to make it special! And as much as I may have gone overboard, I'm so happy with how everything turned out. 

On Saturday afternoon, 36 people packed into our little town house for an afternoon party complete with homemade cupcakes, cookies, a big ol' jar of jelly beans, a few games, and lots of pink champagne. 

All 36 people signed the poll board (success!) and the vote was split right down the middle. 

50% thought boy, 50% thought girl. 

But at 3:00pm on the dot…the basement door opened and Brittany released our little dog who then RAN through the main floor with 6 blue balloons tied to his collar, announcing to the whole group that it's a boy!

We had our guests write down the worst baby names they could think of…to give us an idea of what NOT to name the baby.

Highlights included:

Yeezus

Caramel

Chlamydia

Bob

Dolly

Byron

All in all, it was a fabulous weekend and we were so thrilled everyone could make it out to the party (including my family from Toronto!). 

And all my love goes out to Kim, Brittany, and Chris…for being our amazing secret keepers and organizing the reveal for us. Thank you for dealing with balloon drama, reading complicated medical reports, and wearing gender neutral colours to the party to keep us guessing all the way up until the end. 

Could not have done this without you guys! 

Just for fun, I'll end this post with a photo from 

my 20 week ultrasound…! 

That's a little button nose right there :)

Bonus points for you if you can spot the creepy skeleton 

twin in the background… 

a little peek into what life will be like next year...

I spent the day with Loraleah and little baby Luca today!

It was the first time I could really observe a "new mom" trying to figure out what this new life looks like. 

Picture us: opening up the trunk of the Sante Fe, staring at the collapsed stroller thinking…can we do this? But after a few tries and multiple button pushes that seemed to do absolutely nothing, somehow we managed to pop the thing open and click in the car seat. We were so proud! One pregnant girl, and one slow-moving new mom and we figured it out. 

That seemed to be the theme of the day…

I love that I got to share so many "firsts" for Loraleah and Luca, including first trip in the car with just mommy and a friend, first public changing, and first Starbucks! 

But still…I have a hard time picturing us doing all of this with TWO babies! Two strollers, two feedings, two bum changes, I mean…that's a production and a half. But our mantra right now tells us that somehow, we'll just figure it out. 

See more photos from Luca's day of birth here.

I'm now insanely excited for April to come. I finally feel like I can kind of picture what it will be like, and seeing Loraleah cuddle and love on Luca just fills my heart and makes me want to cry! Lucky for me, I already feel an overwhelming amount of love for Weezy, but this is definitely the first time I've seen Loraleah get so outwardly lovey-dovey. 

And it's just the best :)

I can't believe in less than two weeks we'll know the baby's gender! I'm honestly not sure what I'm more excited about…the party, or going to my ultrasound and getting to see the baby jump around again. SLASH I just remembered I'm way more excited about feeling the baby move around in my belly, and that takes the cake. 

Life is so great right now! Our first wedding anniversary // planning the gender reveal // getting tons of rest while I still can // trying to stay in my regular jeans as long as possible. 

YAY!

P.S. All the baby wants me to eat is bagels and cream cheese. I will not be surprised if he or she comes out LOOKING like a bagel and cream cheese.  

P.P.S. The baby is the size of a grapefruit! Which has recently reminded me how much I like grapefruits and have since been eating one or two almost everyday. The baby is also as long as a banana…but I do not care for eating bananas so that's less interesting.

four months today!!

Eeeee!!!

I love being able to use "months" instead of "weeks" when people ask how pregnant I am. And 4 months sounds totally legit. 

Here's a rundown of the insanely exciting things in my life*

*sarcasm

1. I get SO hungry, eat like one or two bites of something, and feel stuffed. So I have had to resort to drinking shakes at least once a day in order to get a bit of nutrition into my body. 

2. I'm still wearing my regular jeans, which feels like a personal win right now.

3. When I sleep on my stomach, I can now feel the tiniest little mass right under my belly button, which makes it a fairly uncomfortable sleeping position. Thus far, this is the first physical change I've noticed! Which makes me very, very happy. 

4. The baby is the size of an orange. 

5. One month today we'll know the sex of the baby! I feel like that's going to change everything. Suddenly I'll know whether I need to start thinking of a blue nursery, or a pink one. Everything will become more real I think. I seriously can't believe some people are able to not find out!! (Loraleah, I'm talking to YOU.)

6. My birthday is Friday :)

As you can see, life is pretty simple right now. I sleep, I try to find foods that don't disgust me, I sit in my office chair and try to focus on work. 

And if I'm being honest, the most exciting thing going on right now is that little mass I feel when I sleep on my stomach. I can't wait to have a huuuuge watermelon sized pregnant belly, and feel all the kicks and the punches...! 

Time for a nap I think...

pink or blue...pink or blue...

Someone please tell me...what's the point of getting an AWFUL stomach flu during pregnancy? Why would anyone do that to a person?

After adding sick-naps to my usual pregnancy-naps, I literally slept away this entire week. 

In the last two days all that's entered my body is a couple of protein shakes and a box of Kraft Dinner (the heart wants what the heart wants...). I'm feeling almost 100% and ready to shoot my last wedding of the season tomorrow, and I must admit I'm pretty excited to road trip with my lovely friends to Making Things Happen in North Carolina. 

In pregnancy news, I've had yet another prenatal appointment, which I declared "boring" in a text to my mother-in-law, who reminded me that "boring" is the best kind of prenatal appointment to have :)

I have booked my 20 week ultrasound where we will find out whether we're having a Mr. or a little Miss!!! I am literally having dreams about what colour balloons will pop out from the cardboard box at the gender reveal party. 

Last night in my dream, they were pink. Just sayin!!

So that's really all there is to be said! Now I'm off to complete my huge to-do list before tomorrow's wedding and Sunday's trip, which includes things like:

- empty out the car completely

- edit all photos

- out of office message

- stock vegetable drawer for loving husband

...etc!

an outpouring of love and affection!

Yesterday was just the BEST. 

We were able to finally announce the pregnancy on Facebook now that the 12 week mark has come and gone, and it was just the most wonderful outpouring of love, affection, and above all...EXCITEMENT!

What a wonderful feeling to be "out of the closet" about this! 

After an exhausting weekend (a wedding, book club, spending three hours making cake pops...), I don't really feel guilty about taking Monday & Tuesday as another weekend. That means sleeping in, getting around to some chores around the house, and getting my fill of movie-watching. 

To add to the list of things I've cried about:

FORREST GUMP. Need I say more?! I watched this yesterday afternoon without any cellular distractions and I'm not kidding...I cried for three hours straight.

A DOCUMENTARY ON USAIN BOLT. He was just so victorious. I cried thoroughly at the end when they showed his three wins at the 2012 Olympics. If you know me, you know that I'm pretty disinterested in anything sports related. So this was definitely a pregnancy related tear-fest. 

MR. MOCHIZUKI. I spent the night yesterday with a few lady friends of Loraleah's, one of whom said something about teaching at Longfield Davidson Heights, so I asked if she knew Mr. Mo! I started crying when she said she knew who he was. If anyone can explain that, I'd pay good money. 

OUR REVEAL PHOTO. I had this idea in my head of what I wanted. I was going to use a self timer and take the photo myself. We tried to take it on Sunday morning and it was not happening...the timer was too long, and everytime I checked the photo the focus would change slightly. It was a nightmare. My wonderful husband told me not to cry, and asked why we weren't doing something that was, simply put, "us."

When I asked him what "us" was, he said this:

Selfie, happy faces, real emotion, fun, easy. 

He told me that the staged photo I was planning was the opposite of everything I stood for as a "happy people" photographer. He was right. So after breakfast with my parents, we came home and took the photo that you see above. And I'm just so grateful for how it turned out. And how it was perfectly "us."

(Also, this is my favourite "outtake," because it's seriously reflective of how we feel when we think about a baby coming in six months.)

In other news, my asthma is bad news bears. I haven't had bad asthma like this in years so I'll be seeing my doctor about it on Thursday and hopefully my questions will be answered. Mom raised a good point in saying that the baby might not be getting enough oxygen when my asthma wakes me up in the night...so I definitely want to get this fixed. 

Thanksgiving weekend is coming up! Maybe it's pregnancy related, maybe not...but I can't even properly express my excitement. 

I want to eat an entire can of cranberry sauce.

THERE'S A BABY IN MY BELLY!

AHHH!!

I wasn't prepared to see A BABY IN THERE!

We had our first ultrasound today and it was mind blowing. I mean, the baby was literally JUMPING AROUND! I had no idea the baby was moving that much, it's so insane!! Especially since I obviously can't feel anything. 

It's the weirdest feeling...

There's a baby in my belly. And I'm in love. 

This is an iPhone shot of me holding the first printout (which I took before I saw the "no cellphones" sign haha, woo!!). We have a little hard copy in an envelope that I'll probably take a proper photo of later. 

It makes me so excited for the baby to get bigger and for us to see a much clearer picture!

So hello little baby! We can finally see your adorable little head!! You look smart already. 

sleeping for two weeks straight

Please excuse the gap in my blogging over the last few weeks...

It's 100% due to the fact that I've been sleeping CONSTANTLY. Literally between weeks 9-11 my day looked something like this:

9am: get up.
12pm: take a nap.
5pm: wake up from nap.
10pm: bed.

WHAT?! I swear I got nothing done, and blogging was certainly on that list. 

But now I'm just about 12 weeks (Wednesday to be exact), and just as the books mentioned, my energy is starting to come back. I feel like a superhero this morning because it's after 12pm and I'm not napping!

AND to top it off, I shot a 12 hour wedding on Saturday and photographed 6 mini sessions on Sunday. And somehow I've managed to get through it all with only a 2 hour nap. 

Loving this feeling of entering the second trimester!

On Wednesday we have our first ultrasound, and that's when we'll hear the heartbeat for the first time. I'm actually pretty nervous...since there's definitely a part of me that's expecting the ultrasound technician to say something like, "wait...you're not pregnant! There's no baby in there! WEIRD that they told you you were pregnant..."

But my lovely husband reminds me of things like my sore boobs and how the doctor felt my stomach and told me my uterus was growing properly. 

Regardless, at least I didn't have to take my naps alone...

I'm counting down the days before I can announce the pregnancy to Facebook and my business blog!

the nursery is in the works...!

The nursery project has officially STARTED!!

Thankfully, I've been pinning ideas to my secret baby board for months now, so I have a ton of inspiration coming in the form of wall colours, prints and frames, baby shower invitation ideas, etc. 

Everything started when I found this one particular print of a vintage carnival...I just thought it would be a perfect starter piece for planning a little girl's room. 

Not that we have any idea whether the baby is a boy or a girl -- but we'll find out soon enough!!

Since I found that print, the carnival // hot air balloon // pastel theme has kept me SO excited. I really wanted to start working on the nursery early so that I could putter with it for the next 7ish months!

And on a TOTAL whim, Brittany and I started painting on Wednesday night. Around 4pm, I texted Britt to see if she'd be up for getting messy in the nursery. She was SO game, so I picked up the grey paint and we finished the first coat that night. 

I'm obsessed with how light and airy the room looked the morning after -- and I've decided to change that one turquoise wall to something a little lighter, and a little more mint-green. It would go perfectly for a nautical boy's room, or my carnival girl's room. 

We will need one more coat for sure, and then I can start on painting the inside of the closet (because let's face it, 4 paint colours in one room is too many.)

Just a taste of the instagram inspiration I've been collection too...

And other than the exciting nursery progress, not a lot has really been going on! I've been SOOOOO tired lately, and on average I'd say I'm napping for about 3 hours a day. Luckily, I have found the perfect napping buddy, who happens to like being under the covers just as much as me.

Coming up on 10 weeks soon!! And my second doctor's appointment is in a few days, but I think it's only the "prenatal counselling" appointment, and I doubt we'll do anything fun like hear the heartbeat or whatnot. 

All in due time!

P.S... We're finding it fun to imagine having extremely fashionable children.

P.P.S. I'm way too excited for Loraleah's baby shower on Sunday...EEEEEEE!!! 

to add to the list of things I've cried about...

We've been together for about 7 years.

And in that time, we've been playing the Question Game pretty much constantly...where we ask each other thought provoking questions with potentially strange and humourous answers. 

Example:

Would you trade one of your arms for the ability to fly?

How much money would you need to make in order to live in 

Canada for 6 months and somewhere tropical for the other 6?

Of all your friends, who would make 

the best blind person?

Obviously in 7 years, we've been able to learn a lot from each other...

But one day last week, we had to call the game on account of intense pregnancy hormones.

Ryan: If I went to went to war in Iraq, what --
Laura: *IMMEDIATELY BURSTS INTO TEARS*
Ryan: Okay, nevermind! I'm not going to war!

So yeah, we can add that to the list. 

P.S. the little baby is now the size of a prune...which is the grossest image that I've ever seen on the front page of my pregnancy app. So I prefer to think of the baby as the size of the one runt plum in the bucket.

a week eight update (and a new CRIB!)

I have the nursery on my mind 24/7!!

Everywhere I go, I'm scoping colour schemes, cute dressers, and thinking up ideas for handmade prints that will grace the walls...

This light blue / ivory combination popped up yesterday while I was enjoying a decaf coffee and a cupcake with my lovely friend, Loraleah. Pregnant girls LOVE cupcakes apparently ;)

She gave me the sweetest gift...the What to Expect When You're Expecting book!! Can you believe I didn't already have one?! 

I now have a good start at the full set...

What to Expect BEFORE You're Expecting

What to Expect WHEN You're Expecting

What to Expect THE FIRST YEAR

Also along the lines of the nursery, we've officially started this huge project. The guest room has been used as storage up until now, and after getting rid of 3 BOXES of books and 5 FULL garbage bags, we're making a serious dent. 

Here's the original "before" pic...

And after hauling out the junk that we both can't believe we moved INTO our home...

Looking a little better. Still tons to do! I'm going to repaint the whole room...but I'm not 100% sure on what colour yet. All I know is that I like really bright/airy nurseries, instead of punchy and bright "kids"-looking rooms. 

ALSO....we have big news!

WE BOUGHT A CRIB!

While we were in Toronto this past weekend visiting Auntie Rebecca and Uncle Scott, we popped into this sketchy warehouse of a store in search for the perfect crib. 

We were shocked with how many options there were!! And after much discussion, we made the purchase :)

Planning to pick it up on Thanksgiving weekend :)

Here are a few other shots from Toronto...!

Cousin Ivy & Evelyn!!

We're planning to start reading about how to create a super smart baby genius pretty soon... 

Just kidding, but actually we're both pretty excited to learn more about how babies think and grow. 

Before I even got pregnant, I planned on walking for at least 30 minutes a day during these 9 months and so far so good :) 

So that's pretty much everything that's new and exciting!!

Oh, two more things:

1. You're the size of a raspberry :)

2. You make my nails grow at a ridiculous speed. 

week seven & shirley temples

Entering WEEK 8 pretty soon!!

Everyone keeps asking me how I'm feeling and in a way I wish I had more to report! But the truth is, I'm still feeling quite normal, and some days I wouldn't even know I was pregnant at all. 

That means no fun cravings to declare!

But I'm sure the time will come when I'll be wishing I could go back to my 7th week...before I felt sick or craved pizza 24/7.  

Last night I went to dinner with two amazing friends, Steph and Sarah, and I was so touched when Steph suggested we all get Shirley Temples to toast my good news!

Those are good friends right there...foregoing the wine so that I wouldn't be jealous!

By the way...I shot my first wedding as a pregnant person this past Saturday (although technically I was pregnant for my August 3rd wedding but it was still so early), and I can't properly describe how freakin' EMOTIONAL I was! 

I must have cried at least 7 or 8 times...one of which was on the dancefloor to the song, "We Are Family"...explain that one!